Toddlers Belly Dance Too!

I do not often write about my son. We, I and his father, have decided we do not want pictures of him out in the public domain. I find this hard as I think he is amazing, and want to show him off. But I will sometimes write about my journey as a dancer with a child, on the impact of pregnancy and motherhood on my dance life, but also on children and dance. So here is the first post on that topic!

(and here he is dancing with me from a verrry early age ;-))

My son is 2,5 years old and he loves music. How can he not with a musician for a father and a dancer for a mother. He is always surrounded by music. He is very specific in his likes. He likes baladi accordeon number two from Yasmina’s baladi cd. My troupe, Raks Pro performs to it, and I had no day care when I made that choreography about a year ago, so he was always there and must have heard it a million times. He likes the Beatles and the Monkeys. He loves all classical music. He jumps around to “So Move”, a drum solo dance by my other troupe, A-Team. He also recognizes music that my parents or his father play to him, and seems to connect certain songs with certain people. Granddad is Italian music, Daddy is The Beatles.

I have a room in my house that we converted into a small dance studio for me. It is about 20 square metres, not bad size wise. It has a sprung floor, a mirror wall, and a wall of dvds, cds and dance clothes. It is bliss. I can practice here without needing to leave the house whenever I want (well, or better whenever I can as with a toddler around that’s not as often as one would like). As a busy, working mom, it does mean I can use “stolen time”, too short to make it out to a studio, but long enough to rehearse a routine. I teach private classes here too. Fantastic to be able to do that in my own space. I can throw all my dance gear in here when I get home and I do not have it cluttering up the living room and bedroom. I will write about crafting out a practice space for yourself some other time, as I realise a ‘Room of one’s Own’ is not what everyone has or can have, and I have spent almost two decades of dancing without it myself, so I do have a list of tips!

My son associates the room more with “music” than with “dance”. Though he knows it’s for dancing, whenever we go in there he peeps “music?” in that high pitched boy voice mommies love. He knows how to turn the stereo on. And off, as in preferably when I’m in the middle of practicing a new combination or in a hurry to get a class prepared. Sometimes he sits and watches, sometimes he dances around, sometimes he just plays and does his own thing, and ignores me while I practice. In the dance room he has his own cane and his own veil, infant size. But he isn’t too interested in those (yet?). He prefers my stuff, big veils and zills especially. He throws them around or bashes them together. Fun! I hope he gets better at them than I am.

He dances too, he sometimes copies what I do with his arms, sort of, throws his legs about in all directions, and runs around in circles. As soon as he could stand and walk, any music made him turn and turn till he falls over laughing. He still does that sometimes, but seems to have more control and is a little more deliberate already. He clapped to the music from very early age, as well as bopped his head. He loved me dancing with him in my arms, or in a carry pack. So, yes, imagine me with a couple of kilos of baby boy in a hippie-dippie ergonomically correct baby carrier, belly dancing along to a jillina dvd amidst the baby clutter. (But how I started getting back into dance after pregnancy is a story for another day as well).

At the moment he is discovering everything that has to do with running, jumping and squatting down, so does that to music too. He seems to always do to music some exaggerated version of whatever physical ability he is generally discovering and exploring at any given moment. Whether it’s wiggling his fingers, or falling over, or letting his head fall forward or backward. It’s always evolving. It’s so much more than copying me, it really seems to come from within. It’s fascinating.

So, what made me start writing about this today. A few days ago, he picked up the bra of one of my costumes. Took it out of the bag actually. “What have you got there?”. “It’s mommies”, he says. “So what’s it for?” I ask. And he holds it in front of his little chest, and proceeds to wiggle just about every body part he has, and says, “dancing!”.

That’s my boy!

Travel fast, travel light

I'm back!

(picture: @Ludo Vanlangenakker)

My excuse is I have been very busy, being a dancer, a teacher, a writer (in other ways than this blog) and a mommy. And I have done a little bit of traveling, so that's todays topic!

Over the years, I have sponsored many international workshop instructors, and I have done quite a bit of traveling myself, from a weekend in Cape Town, to six weeks in Iceland. (Those two were two of my first international gigs, and they should get their own 'story from the past' blog post soon!).


The instructors that I have hosted have been very diverse in how they traveled. From two (to three!) huge, loaded, heavy suitcases plus carry-on plus laptop bag, to just one tiny case or even just a very stuffed carry on back pack ("Where is your luggage?" "This is all I have" - and yes, she did bring a costume too!). Nope, not naming names. The overloaded ones usually carried loads of make-up and merchandise. O hadn't been able to decide what costume they'd wear.


I have found myself in both categories, really striving to downsize though. Learning to travel light with an infant has helped too.


So let's talk a little on how to achieve that. In random order.

1. Buy clothes that you can teach in AND walk around in the street. Several sets of them. I swear by Gap trousers, and, what used to be Magidah Wear, now, http://www.favewear.com. they could do with some more flashy colours, but in terms of wearability, streetwearability, comfort, and stuffinabagability they are ace! I also have a pair of silk trousers I bought years ago. Absolytely broke the bank when i purchased them, but I've been wearing them for teaching for almost a decade. They do well in hot weather as well.

Here is me teaching in the Magidahwear pants in Vegas! I am almost four months pregnants here and these have been excellent maternity wear too!

2. This one is a no brainer - duh. Collect mini-versions of alll your toileteries. Or re-use little bottles. Hord them. Don't use them at home. Don't forget where you have stashed them. Use them on trips. Tell people you like these and you get them for presents. Same with samples from drugstores, keep em and use them, even perfumes. If you refill your own little bottles, labeling them is a good idea. You might remember on this trip what you poured in what, but you might not next month. I forget what's in them and no, I don't want to wash my face with shampoo and my hair with face wash. Oh, and keep an almost empty tube of toothpaste, and other toiletries that are almost empty, especially for your trip.

3. Invest in a nice BIG handbag, with a zipper, so your stuff doesn't fall out at security checks. (Been there, done that).

4. Find some nice shoes that are comfortable and are ok-ish under a multitude of outfits. Really, shoes are the bag-size killer. See if you can travel with just one pair. I have only succeeded a few times. I really try to go for comfortable (flying, being dragged around town, going from workshop venue to hotel to show venue to restaurant and back etc) over looks. But i like my heels.

5. Leave the lap top at home! Really! Put your music on an ipod and cds and USB stick. You all got smartphones to check your email on anyway.

6. Decide on your show makeup at home. All of it. Forget the bring-all-the-colours palettes. Travel with just exactly the makeup you will put on your face and the brushes you will use. No compromises. You know what costumes you'll be wearing anyway. Take everything you need, but nothing more. Same for jewelry and accessories, choose at home.

so no:

and yes:

7. Now, this one is a dilemma. ONE huge bag, or several smaller ones? When using public transport on my own I find it much easier to have one huge bag, and not handbag/carryon/workshopbag/smallbagonweels. Try the london underground with the latter, ugh! So traveling alone, i prefer not to have too many seperate items. Yes it's heavy, but i find it easier and pickpocket-safer.
However, as a sponsor, imagine picking your guest star up at the airport and her humongeous bag (or bags) do not fit into the car. Note to self, don't send student with smallest car to pick up star with biggest suitcase!

I am sure there are many more tips, so feel free to comment and add your own!

cairo!!!

dandash, soraya, camelia, shopping, eman, yasmina, ..... cairo time so blogging on hold for a week!

Present: A teacher's responsibility

Students trust their teachers. Sometimes more than they should.

A few times a year a student says something that makes me realise how important we teachers/our classes/  this hobby has become to them. In a lot of ways that is nice. I cannot imagine my life withouth it, and I am of course happy when others discover the same joy.

But it can also be a scary thing. It gives some people power over others. It makes me realise the  responsibility that comes with teaching others.  It makes me realise that my words have impact on others, an impact I am not always aware of. It makes me realise some people attribute a role to me I do not want, and give my words more importance for decisions about their lives than they should. And I need to be aware of that. And help feet to stay on the ground... and keep my own there as well.

As I often say, no dance is not therapy. But it acts as such for a lot of people. For strong people, and for vulnerable ones. Who deserve support and protection. Who do not deserve to be taken advantage of.

We need to be aware of how what we say and do has an impact on others. On not to take emotional or financial advantage of of them. Because that too is abuse.

Career Advice and How to Ignore Some of It - Part One

Like every dancer who had a few international experiences and wanted more... I asked all the famous and less famous workshop instructors I came across how to go about that.

"help me!" "what can I do that I am not doing already?"

I want to think a little about all that advice that has been given to me over the years. The advice I followed up. And the advice I stuck in a drawer and left there, and why.

I dont judge anybody elses choices. It's your llife! This is a highly personal account of what did or did not work for me. In this series I will talk about appearance, smiling, competitions, social network marketing, "making a name for yourself", teaching style, and more.

1. Appearance. "You gotta look the part!"

So a famous dancer critiqued my dancing, and what did I get?No comments on my technique or performance as dance, but

- Use Redder lipstick
- Do your eyebrows
- Get another fancier hairdo
- Oh, and make sure you look better when you are IN a workshop.

This did not happen just the once, but with several instructors that I took classes from.

Sounds strange?The point is, they were right. You need all of that to make it in todays dance world. It IS all about the look. About good dancing too of course, but good dancing doesn't go far enough, or so it seems, without the look.

I have struggled with this issue all my dance carreer. As a baby dancer i hated being told that I needed to tan! I was told by several directors to go to a tanning salon. I ended up changing my hair colours, and since I've been a red head nobody has ever made any remarks on my skin colour again.

I also really hated that I needed to wear lenses instead of my glasses. I hated my lenses, and I used to put them in just before I went on stage. This was before I used fake lashes.

Later on I had to relearn a few times how to do my makeup. I took some professional classes in doing my make up and they were really usefull. I plan on taking another soon in applying blush and contouring for the stage because I currently suck at that.

Yes, it seems to be allll about the glam these days. You want fame? You need to look like the cover of a magazine. And i'm not talking body weight, but you need to have "the face".

And that can be a lot of fun. Girls like talking makeup, like doing makeup, we like dressing up.  Make up is one of our toys for adults, like my husband makes model airplanes and loves choosing paints for them, mixing them. I love my stuff as well: green OPI nail polish, MAC eye shadows, MAC Russian Red Lipstick, Clinique Mascara, are just some of my favourites. It's not just the results we get with them, the transformation, but the physical objects too. they way they smell and feel in our hand. And their names, allthough I was never much in to that (frosty something something green?).

But I do see some of my students who are not "into" make up, struggling with this. And what advice can I give them?You need it for the stage? Some will get addicted to MAC, for others it will just remain a "necessary evil". Apllied because I make them, but it doesnt "do" anything for them. And not being into make up doesnt make them less good dancers than the rest of the class.

For professionals? I think you need to find some middle ground, and not loose yourself in it.

For myself there are a few lines i've drawn
- dont spend more on makeup than on classes
- dont spend all backstage time talking about make up and nothing else
- I dont do my eyebrows. I paint them on for shows, I dont want the look for my daily life
- I dont get my hair done any more than absolutely necessary. I dont need it to look perfect all the time.
- I often teach in my glasses, yes also at big events, when I feel like it
- I dont have to have my nails done allll the time. I just do them for shows. and in between you'll see me with chipped nail polish.

and especially:

I really dont need to look done up and like "Artemisia" all the time. Students and events can seem me as "me".  For post workshop hanging out I don't need to go and put on lipstick.
 
 In class, I sweat. And i look horrible in most class pictures, and don't care.


xxx
Artemisia

Darkness

Todays "sheduled" post will have to wait.

I think the worst two things that can happen in a persons life are either losing a child, or any assault on one's physical integrity.

My friend- and many like her- suffered the last. Any other story today seemed inappropriate. I cried for her today. The worst thing was her story did not even surprise me.

Read it here:

Charlotte Desorgher: darkness at the heart of bellydance

Past: The Armenian Party

I don't drive. So I always need to bring someone to drive me to gigs. But I am also glad for the company, the help... and in this case, well. It would have been a lot scarier on my own.

I got hired, through confused emails and even more confused phone calls with Lady Organiser to dance at a party, on a docked cruise ship, for an Armenian cultural organisation, "promoting Armenian culture". The penny did not drop then but did once we arrived in Antwerp.

We arrive a little late, after getting lost in the docks/harbour. It is dark. It is in the middle of nowhere. The area around the venue is very dodgy looking. And already I am very happy I am not on my own.

The venue is hilarious. Departed glory. You know... when you can see something used to be fancy and luxurious, but it is totally run down now, but you can sort of still feel and smell the old luxury. That was, not is. The cruise ship is from Norway and from 1952. And it doesn't look like the furniture and upholstery have been renewed since.

Outside on the parking lot are men with their girlfriends of the decorative type. I am not the one wearing the most make up. Men in business suits, with bankrolls sticking out of their pockets, smoking cigarettes. And ladies in very fancy but rather short dresses and killerheels who all look like models. And OMG is that a gun? We're not sure. There seem to be some security type guys around as well.

Inside are more of the fashion model women and of the men in suits, and also some elderly gentlemen and older ladies dressed in black with big scarves around their shoulders, and dressed like my stereotype of russian widows.

I get shown the dance floor and the dressing rooms.

I ask to speak to the DJ. He turns out to be of the "I am so important"-type. Who also speaks no language I understand. I give him the cd. Which has three songs on it and has 1+2+3 written on it. Quite clearly. I tell the girl that brought me in and does speak English that it is my cd and that I am dancing to the three songs on it. She translates. He doesn't listen and brushes us off.

So, I am taken to the dressing room. The other act they booked is a singer with some Eastern European go go girls. They are wearing yellow fluorescent mini dresses and apart from their private parts and nipples pretty much most of them is on show.... Okaay.....

Their leery male  manager refuses to leave the dressing room. Does not understand my assistant or my hints of the "Artemisia needs to get changed" variety. I am really not the prudish type, especially not when it's about fellow artists in a dressing room male or female. I get changed anywhere, but this just did not feel OK,  so I decide I'll go change in the loos when the time is there.

And then we wait, and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait. It is running very late. Russian gogo girls have no idea when we are on either. I send assistant to go find Lady Organiser. She comes back and says Lady Organiser gave her brush of. I am still in my civies so i decide to go find her myself. She is talking with some guests so I stand around and wait. I don't want to interupt her, but I do try to get her attention. She looks very annoyed that I come and see her when she is with her guests. She walks over. I tell her look, you are running very late, and a little late is OK, but do you have any idea, at all, when I will be on. She says, yes, soon, she is clearly angry, and she walks of. I am not sure if I did the right thing to go find her.

So I wait in the dressing rooms. and wait. and wait. and wait. and wait.

Here comes Lady Organiser. It seems the entertainment program is starting. Finally. Look, she says, we have this tradition. All the entertainers will parade through the building, on Armenian music, in costume. I am to go with the half naked gogo girls and walk around in costume with them.  I refuse. She is pissed of. I'll tell her I'll come and take a bow in the performance area when the parade reaches that part, with a veil as cover up, but that I am not parading around the building in costume behind the gogo girls. She talks to the manager of the gogogirls plus singer, clearly complaining about me. and leaves.

So the girls parade and reach the stage, and I go out and take my bow.

We all go backstage. And wait and wait and wait and wait and wait. There are speeches. There is some kind of lottery. There is fokloric dancing by men and loud shouting. There are more speeches

finally the singer and the gogo girls go on. and come of stage. and i wait.

suddenly and elderly Armenian lady storms over, and starts pulling my arm. yelling at me. really yelling. the gogo girls, who have already danced once and are now wearing a red skimpy outift manage explaining to me, "she wants you to go dance now". I try explaining it's not my music, but now do realise some vaguely arabicy sounding dj mix is coming out of the speakers. I send my assistent to either go see the DJ or to find Lady Organiser. The Dj brushes her of. Lady Organiser then storms over with her mother, and yells, "what is the problem, you you dance now!". I explain I'll dance once the DJ puts on the cd i gave him earlier. they all look at each other as if i'm crazy. And talk to each other and shake their heads a lot.

Anyway, they go to the dj, and tadaa, there comes my music. 

So i come out, and dance my first song. then the music stops. I wave at the dj, yes, continue.

Nothing. I wait. joke around. Audience laughs.

And he puts the first song on, again. I look confused. I guess. Start dancing again. So my assistent walks over. more confusion but they finally do play the rest of the cd. and i even get asked to do an encore for the people on the balcony. I do and  I also get tipped well. the audience at least seems really appreciative.

The rest of the story is short: I get changed. we wait around forever for me to get paid. I send assistant over to pissed of Lady Organiser. She sends someone over with the money, including my waiting fee (hallelujah for having added that to the contract). And we leave.

The parking lot going-ons look dodgy. Bored girls in short dresses, fat rolls of bank notes changing hands and yes, that does look like a gun.

Homeward!

Artemisia