Present: Performance psychology

Talks with students during private classes and master classes, and during the performance related workshops we offer at my interational annual summerschool RAKS BE (www.raks.be) have got me thinking about what it does to a performer to watch other performers.

Me? Easy. It makes me happy! Good performances make me happy, amazing performers put me on a super happy cloud, and beginning performers making an awesome debut, make me extatic.

Watching a good performer who is on before me, in the same show as me, does not make me feel insecure about dancing myself, does not make me doubt my own efforts. Knowing there is someone in the show who I find absolutely breathaking does not make me wonder if I belong on that stage myself. 

I think this is one of the main reasons I don't do competitions. Because I do not want to loose this feeling. I know I know, it should be all about competing with yourself, and not others. But points and prizes are being given, and someone will be first, and someone will be last. It is just an emotion I do not wish to bring into my dance life. Because I do now so much enjoy the rest of the show, and I want to continue to be able to fully enjoy the yummieness of others. Feel what their performance is meant to make an audience member feel! What emotions does she share, what story is she telling, what is she giving to you, what sadness or beauty has she made?

It doesn't mean I am not insecure on a stage! Oh boy, I have my insecurities. A post for another day.  I have my little ones and big ones. The positive coach needs to be beat my negative demons at almost every performance. And sometimes wins and sometimes doesn't.

But this is not one of my insecurities. I love watching others.

I start all of my private classes with a new student, with a talk about who they are, what their goals are, what their current strenghts and weaknesses are, what makes them happy, what makes them insecure. What in their dancing do they like, and what do they not like. It helps me tremendously to structure their classes with me. To decide together what we need to work on.

I discovered recently to ask them what they feel when they see others dance.

And so much fear, selfdoubt, anxiety pours out. It made me wonder. I tried to understand.

Why is that? Why do other performers that perform, and perform well,  make us feel insecure? The answer seems to be that we are doubting if we ourselves should be there. If our "right' to be on that stage is smaller or bigger than anyone elses? Do I belong here? How phoney am I?

See, I've never had that feeling. Oh yes, I am doubting if my stuff is any good. if my stuff is pretty, entertaining, interesting enough, .... for the AUDIENCE. Whomever is that audience, dancers, friends, general public, a theatre audience, people at a private party. Do they like me? do they think I am beautifull? will they have me back? will they tell their friends I was great? will they be entertained? are they LOVING it?

The answer to the question  if you should be there, is to be answered in the eyes of the audience.

The other performers are there because the organiser invited them, or because (open stage) they invited themselves. They are somebody elses selection. And you might like some of them, and not others.

So my answer to this question of how to beat your insecurities is not "compete with yourself instead of with others". My answer is don"t compete at all. Not with the others, and not with yourself. Give to your audience. Try to make something to share in a single moment with someone sitting on that chair. Having paid money, or in case of a free show, have chosen to spend time, sitting there, to watch YOU, AND all the others. Entertain them. Dance for them.  Try to do a better job, for them.

Artemisia